Anyway, I digress - we were riding side by side in the right lane engaged in deep conversation - ok...not that deep, but conversation nonetheless.  Considering that there wasn't that much traffic on the road to begin with in our small little Town, we didn't think it was a problem for our archenemies (translation: automobile drivers) to pass us in the other lane.  I've read time after time how bicyclists are also considered "vehicles", and must abide by the same rules and regulations as drivers.  I figure if we have to stop at stop signs and use signals, then as long as there isn't much traffic, I was going to take up an entire lane like we were entitled to. 

So in mid-sentence, (I don't remember what we were talking about) - some Doofus (with a capital D) drives by in the left lane (oh yes...you other bicyclists know exactly what's coming) and screams almost incomprehensibly (as people generally sound when they're traveling much faster than you are), "Pull over to the side of the road!"  Now granted, we could have done just that - pulled over in a single file barely touching the curb.  But even then, Doofus would have swerved partially into the other lane to pass us (or so I hope). 

It's not like Doofus didn't see us and had to change lanes at the last minute - how can you miss two bicyclists taking up a whole lane, with 3 blinking lights on their backs, riding down a straight stretch of road?  Doofus just had to show his True Colors and Intellect by screaming something out the window.  Oh yes, two unsuspecting bicyclists riding slowly down the road - prime targets to show off his mastery of the English language. 

Well guess what Mr. Smart Alec Doofus - all you showed us was what an idiot you are.  But at least they said something semi-intelligent... 

<Rewind to last autumn while I was riding solo on the shoulder of the Main Road leading out of Town.>

A must-be relative of Doofus, Complete Moron (CM) drives by me going probably four times faster than I was, but this guy, oh this guy, he must consider himself an intellectual giant, for he doesn't say anything as he drives by me.  Or maybe he is unable to think under pressure at the last minute.  Instead all I hear is a high-pitched scream sounding something like, "Ahhhhhhgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" which rises and falls in tone (Doppler Effect, you know).  A real Albert Einstein we have there in CM. 

I figure somewhere Up There, there is some bar reserved for our "friends" like Doofus and CM.  A Place where people like Them sit around swapping stories - 

CM:  "Hey, back in 2001, I screamed out the window at this one geeky biker riding down the road." 

Others:  "Oh...that must have been classic!  The look on his face must have been priceless."

CM:  <bashfully> "Well, I couldn't quite see his face since we were driving so fast."

Others: "Oh well...his face must have *been* classic if you had seen it!"

But if you think Doofus and CM are at the top of their Class, you got it wrong.  You're forgetting their chief, boss, ringleader, mastermind, head honcho, and bigwig - Utter Fool (UF).  He makes them look like geniuses when it comes to originality. 

All you other non-Caucasians know who I'm talking about.  UF is the one who thinks he's so smart and original because he can imitate sounds in foreign languages.  Notice I said "imitate sounds" and not "butcher foreign languages."  Oh yes...at least Mr. Butcher can speak the language somewhat and makes an attempt to speak it, but UF can't even speak one single word.  Way back when, I was riding down a road whose name eludes me, and guess who shows up to visit for a brief moment?  Yep,  you got it, Utter Fool and Complete Moron.  Not only does this lifeform (I'm being generous here) scream something incomprehensible, he tries to make it sound like Chinese so it sounds something like, "Ahhggghhhhchingchongchingchonggggggggggg......!!!!", again rising and falling in tone due to the previously mentioned Doppler Effect.  What gives these people the idea that they can talk to me in my Native Tongue is beyond me.  Especially while traveling at 60mph.  Gotta love Them all - Doofus, Complete Moron, and Utter Fool.  That dysfunctional Family is one thing that keeps the bicycling experience exciting and unpredictable.

To those who have been keeping up with my Entries, I apologize for not getting an Entry posted yesterday - the evening turned out to be very hectic and I didn't get a chance to write anything.  I guess I've made up for it (and more) with this one.  :)

Anyway, in other news, the ArcView class went very well - I sure learned a lot and hope to be able to apply some of that training in a real application soon.  The instructor told us that early on in the TV show, The District, they used ArcView to solve a variety of crimes.  Many cities/municipalities/corporations also use ArcView to generate statistics based on geography.  For example, Pizza Hut uses ArcView to determine where pizzas are ordered from, what type of pizzas are ordered, how long do special-limited-time pizzas keep getting ordered after they stop running ads on the TV, etc.  This information helps them determine their market audience and tells them what works or doesn't work.

One of my friends and co-worker was on his way to MerleFest (an annual folk music festival) in North Carolina this week but enroute, they lost control the truck they were driving (on wet roads) and rolled both the truck and camper they were towing.  :(  Fortunately, neither one of them were injured seriously, but needless to say, they didn't make it to MerleFest.  My friend had been looking foward to this for a very long time now and I know that this will be a huge blow not being able to go.  He and his wife also both lost a set of preemie twins not long ago so his psyche was already fragile to begin with.  Any prayers would be appreciated for him & his family - and any ideas on how I can help them would be appreciated too.

Deals of the Day:

• Compaq FS740 17in monitor w/JBL speakers for $50 after $150 MIR at CompUSA this week.  They sold out quickly last Sunday but some stores have gotten more in stock.
• Target Clearance - Pretty much an "ongoing deal" - Target is always clearancing out items, be sure to check your endcaps when you shop there.  Items are usually marked down 25% at first, but can get to 50% or even 75% off.  A list of Target deals can be found at AlienDeals.  But also check MyCoupons LWIF as they have almost daily posts on deals found at Target.  I just found a set of Oneida flatware service for 8 (regularly $80) for $20.  Deciding whether to keep it, save it for a gift, or to Ebay it for around $45.