[Author's note:  I thought I would take this Memorial Day to post my own personal experience with last year's Attack on America and bear remembrance to those directly affected by the terrible tragedy.]
 

September 11, 2001…I had awoke, at the last possible minute as usual, and was on my way to work at approximately 8:30am.  I tuned the radio to one of the morning shows, but instead of hearing the regularly cheerful morning show VJs, the voices I heard sounded desperate and confused.  They were talking about reports how a plane had hit the Pentagon or something.  “What is going on?” I remember thinking.  “This is the Pentagon in Washington D.C.?  What type of plane?  How does a plane hit the Pentagon?” 

[Approximately 2 minutes after leaving home…]

I was about to turn onto the main throughway leading out of town when I first heard that the World Trade Center Towers had been hit by airplanes as well.  My first thought was some small commuter plane had gone off course and accidentally hit the Towers.  No where in my entire conscious thought did I think a passenger airline, much less two airlines had been intentionally flown into the Towers.  These were the World Trade Center Towers, the tallest buildings in the world at one point in time.  One of the most famous New York City landmarks.  I remember visiting the observation deck of the World Trade Center during my youth on one of our family trips to New York City. 

Hearing this news, I wasn’t afraid, just mostly confused as conflicting stories were reported.  Some reported a plane had hit the Pentagon.  Others reported that a bomb had been set off.  And even further, more reports were saying that another bomb had been set off outside one of the Federal Buildings in downtown Washington D.C.  But somehow, I knew that this was Big News.  I quickly dialed Jen up on my cellphone and woke her up from her peaceful slumber. 

“Jen, get up right now and turn on the TV,” I told her with a voice full of concern.  “I’m not sure of the details, but they’re talking on the radio about how planes have hit the Pentagon and World Trade Center Towers.  This is huge.  Get up and turn on the TV.  I’ll call you later, ok?”

I remember driving to work a bit faster than usual, wanting to get there as soon as I could to see what was going on.  As I drove, the story became clearer.  As we now know all too well, two passenger airlines were flown into the Towers.  As horrific and incomprehensible as that may seem, I don’t think any of us expected the Towers to collapse.  I remember driving along, looking in other peoples’ cars, wondering if they were hearing the same news I was.  Wondering what they were thinking in their own personal solitudes, cut off from the rest of the world like myself.

I don’t know if I was naïve or what, but I remember thinking that once I got to work, I needed to tell everyone what was going on.  Like they had no clue what had happened and I was going to be the one to inform them.  Of course they had known probably right when it happened even before I did.

Upon arriving at work, I immediately proceeded to the main conference room, where undoubtedly people would be gathered around the one 19” color TV.  As expected but still somewhat surprising, most offices were devoid of people, although there were a few dedicated employees working at their desks.   However, neither the TV nor people were in the conference room, but I heard voices coming from the lunchroom.  I quickly made my way to the lunchroom and found a small crowd gathered around a small portable 3” TV. 

The sight was staggering and unbelievable – both of the World Trade Center Towers were gushing black smoke into the New York skyline.  I think “unbelievable” was the word I used all day, describing what had happened.

I hadn’t been in the lunchroom more than a few minutes when the South Tower collapsed. I remember standing there in shock, uncomprehending, watching this scene out of a movie unfold.  I was numb, and blindly hoping that many people had escaped before the tower went down.  It didn’t even occur to me right at that moment that hundreds, probably thousands of people were probably still in the building when it collapsed.  Unbelievable.  Surreal.  Horrific.  All of us just stood there saying nothing (what could be said?), shock and disbelief etched across our faces.  Aside from the screams and panic being broadcast from the TV, my fellow co-workers and I were completely silent.

A short time later, someone came in and told us that more people were watching the news in the downstairs conference room, so myself & several others ended up going down there.  Walking into the room was like going into a wake - the atmosphere was cold and somber.  Everyone there was talking in hushed voices, scarcely believing what we had just witnessed. 

When the North Tower collapsed, people around me gasped again, and I heard someone say, "Oh my God, there it goes."  A lot of us stood there and covered our mouths with our hands even though no sound was coming out.  Watching the terror unfold on the TV was incredibly surreal.  Even though we knew it was real and not some elaborate stunt filmed for a movie, it seemed like we were watching some Schwarneggegian action flick.

I don't remember how much longer I stayed glued to the TV, watching replay after replay of the planes hitting the Towers, the Towers collapsing, people running in panic, rescue workers bravely doing their jobs, but eventually I managed to tear myself away to try to get back to work.

How could I work though?  With such an event of epic proportions, how was I supposed to concentrate on modeling the introduction of freshwater into Louisiana coastal marshes?  Somehow, it didn't seem all that important at that particular moment.  As I walked back upstairs and down the hallway to my office, I felt like I was in a daze, my body unfeeling and my mind barely working.

I remember seeing people working in their offices and thinking (albeit somewhat irrationally), "how could they possibly work with what just happened?  Are they unfeeling?  Are they unaware of what just occurred?"  Of course I realized that everyone was dealing with the tragedy in their own way.  And for some, that meant immersing themselves in work. 

Myself, I could barely concentrate, much less sit at my computer and ignore what was going on.  Disappointed that Co-worker Buddy hadn't arrived at work yet, as I was wanting to talk to someone, I went to my office and turned on the radio to keep abreast of the latest news. 

The rest of the morning passed slowly and unproductively - I think I spent more time listening to the radio or surfing the internet news sites for any additional information rather than focusing on my work.  I counted the minutes until lunchtime - when I planned to go back to the TV to see what new information they had gleaned. 

Remembering that all this occurred when most people were still in bed on the West Coast, I called up my Best Guy Friend who is in LA who might not have heard the news yet.  Miraculously, he picked up on the second ring, and I quickly asked him if he had heard the news yet.  "No," he replied, "a friend of mine just called & woke me up and told me to turn on the news.  What's going on?"  I summed up what had happened as he tuned in to his local news channel.  He was full of disbelief as his voice became distant and he focused on the chilling video footage.  "I'll talk to you later, ok?" I asked him as I left him to catch up on what we all were too familiar with. 

The only other long-distance phone call I made that day was to my parents, who live in the suburbs of Washington D.C. in Maryland.  My dad called the event simply unbelievable as well, and informed me that the daughter of one of his good friends was working in the Towers, but they think she got out ok. 

On this Memorial Day 2002, I wanted to put my thoughts and memories on paper as I do *not* want to forget what occurred shortly after my 30th birthday last year.  Already, I feel myself becoming desensitized to all the news surrounding the attack on the World Trade Center Towers.  No one I knew directly or indirectly lost their lives in the attack.  I know that for thousands of families, they will never forget and will remember it every second of their lives.  And my heart goes out to them. 

People were calling it the "Pearl Harbor" of our time, but with Pearl Harbor, the attack was on a US military base during wartime.  In my opinion, this attack was much much worse as it was an attack on civilians using civilians as weapons.

My sympathies, my condolences go out to all those people affected by the events of September 11, 2001.  I cannot even begin to comprehend or understand what you all must feel or are going through.  My heart breaks every time I read about people's final words.  The most I can do is to remember the victims and the heroes of this terrible terrible act of violence, and to always remember them and never forget.  You *will* be remembered, now and always.  May God comfort you and bring you peace in these troubled times.