It wouldn't be so bad if we had a lot of friends to begin with.  Then losing one or two would still be saddening, but not to catastrophic proportions.  It just seems like in the three years we've lived here, everytime we finally develop some close friendships with people, they've moved away.  First Trisha left, then Williams, and now Carvers.

Considering that I don't make close friendships that easily, it just makes it that much worse.  It's been like that pretty much all my life.  It seems like I was destined for a life with a few, close good friends.  Not that I would trade that for many friends that aren't that close.  But it would be nice if those close friends stuck around for a while.  It's interesting because based on the Myers-Briggs personality indicator, INFJs are usually those who develop a few, but close, lifelong friendships.

Thankfully Carvers aren't leaving immediately, so at least we still have some time to spend together before they leave for good.  And it's not like they are going to the other side of the country or anything.  Des Moines isn't *that* far away.  The benefit I see with all of our friends moving away is that I figure eventually, we'll have people scattered all over the U.S., and that way we'll have people to visit no matter where we travel.

I just place such a huge importance on my friendships though.  Aside from God, family and friends are my other most important aspects of my life.  I'd seriously do anything for friends and family should they need it.  Loyalty to my family and friends is something I pride myself in, and I think sometimes I place *too* much emphasis on that.  I guess I figure if I put out all the effort to keep in touch with my friends, that they should do the same.  And sometimes I think because they don't, then obviously they don't care about me as much as I care about them.  Which of course is untrue - just because they don't write me doesn't make them lousy friends.  I think I just expect more than what *should* be expected in a friendship - and thus when I don't get back what I think is necessary, I feel hurt.

It was incredibly difficult to leave Fort Collins when we moved out here.  We had just gotten to the point where we had several very very good friends (although one of them moved shortly before we did), and really felt like I finally fit in with a group of people.  It's strange how sometimes you only connect with someone after knowing them for a long period of time, and then wonder why it took so long.

Up until the past year though, I don't think I've really made a new good friend the whole time we've been here.  People at work and church have been very nice, but I didn't really meet anyone I connected with on a deeper level.  However over time, Co-worker Buddy and I have grown somewhat close and I consider him probably my best friend here.  It's helped that we're the same age, living similar lifestyles (married couple w/young kids), and have similar interests.  I know I've said it before, but talking to him is one of my highlights each day.

I've just always felt like I never really fit in with any particular group or clique. And perhaps that's partially the reason it is so difficult for me to make friends.  I'm not super athletic or a die-hard sports fan, so I don't fit in with the sport junkies.  I'm an engineer and I have a huge interest in computers, but as I have other interests than purely computers, I don't quite fit in with the geek connection.  I guess the bottom line is that there is nothing I'm fanatic about, so I lack the interest to associate with a specific group.

I guess hearing that Kelly decided to take the job offer in Des Moines and knowing that they will be leaving soon brought up all these thoughts about friendship.

I've been feeling like I'm in the doldrums at work lately as well.  We've gone about just as far as we can go with the one main project I've been working on for the past year, and we're kind of at a standstill until the client decides what they want.  I just feel like the project has stalled with the end still a ways away, and it's just somewhat disheartening.  In the meantime, I've started on another project and that one looks to last a while too.  I seem to work better under some pressure, and when nothing is pressing, it's hard to be very motivated.

I've also been thinking about how different married life is from bachelorhood, based on reading some of the entries my friend Tom has written.  I'm not saying either one is "better" than the other, just different.  For example, my typical day consists of waking up, kissing Jen goodbye, going to work, coming home to dinner, spending time with the kids & Jen, spending some time to myself and going to bed.  Outings are usually taken as a family, and inexpensive or free sources of family entertainment are often the norm.  Movies are usually rented, and restaurant dining usually involves going somewhere not very fancy and kid-friendly.  On the other hand, single life involves going out with friends a lot, spending time at places other than home, and what seems like more spontaneity and a less regimented schedule.  Married life seems more stable and predictable, while single life is full of unknowns and freedom.  Each with its benefits and drawbacks.

Braden has been really cute lately - it just amazes me how he is growing in leaps and bounds.  The other night I was lying down with him in his bed while Jen was sitting with Ariel during her bedtime.  Braden was talking to me and kept saying how he wanted to be with mom.  "Mom sit me, you sit Ariel," he would say.  Of course I told him that wasn't possible and that I would be sitting with him.  He said that a couple more times while I kept on saying no.  Then he kind of smirks at me and says, "Mom sit you, Me sit Ariel," and laughs.  I could hardly believe that he made a joke, but that's exactly what he did.  

John Rosemond's article today talked about how kids these days have way too many toys.  How in that particular case, less definitely is more.  Urged us to get rid of anything that wasn't around before the 1950s.  Basically that kids these days have too many toys that don't promote imaginative play.  And how kids have too many toys so there's too much clutter, and it's hard for them to keep track of it all.  Guess what we found Braden playing with today for a long time?  A piece of PVC pipe and a box.  I would have to agree with Mr. Rosemond - these new toys may be cool but their newness doesn't usually last very long.  It's the timeless treasures (hot wheels cars, blocks, books, boxes) that seem to last and are played with over and over.

It was also nice to come home today to a very clean rec room.  We had been storing a lot of boxes that we hadn't unpacked yet in that room, and Jen & Ariel went through most of the stuff in that room and got it put away.  Not only was it clean, but it was very neat and uncluttered.  Praise for Jen!!  :)