Almost nothing, and I mean *nothing* pisses me off more than to see wives mistreated by their husbands. I know I am far from perfect and that I have my own shortcomings and I'm probably not the "ideal" husband by any means, but the actions of some people are incredibly deplorable.

A very good friend of mine (who shall remain unnamed) wrote me an email today venting about her husband. Not only does he go and do whatever he wants, but he is extremely controlling (at least that's the way I see it). Her situation? Her husband pretty much comes and goes as he wishes - often staying out late until the wee hours of the morning without as much of a peep as to where he is. When confronted about it, he's tried every excuse in the book ("I tried to call, but the phone was busy", "The car broke down and I had to fix it", etc). The worst part about the whole thing is that he subscribes to the "my wife is my servant" mentality. In other words, he makes the money, so he gets to decide how and when it is spent. Now in the past, my friend hasn't had much problems getting money when she needs it, but I think it's incredibly unfair for her to have to ask for it to begin with.

Not long ago, I read a post on the "My Family Board" of MyCoupons.com where the wife was telling everyone how badly her husband treated her. In her case, he had utter and full control of the money. If she wanted spending money, he told her to go get a job. As if staying home and taking care of the house and children wasn't a job to begin with. And he was able to go buy and spend money on whatever the hell he wanted. Grrr...

Now in my friend's case, it obviously isn't that bad of a situation, but he seems to be controlling all the same, which isn't fair to her. They have two cars, but one of them he has conveniently failed to register, so again, she is left at home without a means of transport. Her husband seems to think that since the money is "his", he can spend it however he deems necessary, including going out and gambling with it and who knows what else.

She is expected to stay home, keep the house clean, have dinner ready, have his laundry done, and take care of their child, yet she gets no freedom in how she gets to spend their money? It's like he's getting a housekeeper without having to pay for her services. She should start doing things like, "well, I'm the one who made dinner so I'm the one that's going to eat it. Go make your own dinner."

This line of thinking, "I make the money so I set the rules" just pisses me off so much. I thought in a marriage, everything was supposed to shared, and that each person should have equal say. After all, why get married then? It just kills me to see her treated so unfairly. IMO, she is not his wife, but his servant. Wives shouldn't have to ask for money. They shouldn't have to ask for permission to buy this or that. When you get married, it shouldn't be mine or yours, but ours. It still surprises me when I hear of marriages in which both people are working, and they have his & hers bank accounts.

All I can say is that controlling, manupulative husbands suck.