How is it that I often feel like the ugly duckling at whatever social gatherings I attend? I feel like I am a stranger in a strange land - I'm there, but I feel like I don't *belong* there.

Tonight was no exception. For the sake of Jen & the Kiddos, I found myself at a Halloween potluck for several homeschooling families. There were only a couple of families I had met before so I wasn't surrounded by complete strangers. But seeing how they were busy orchestrating the evening activities, I found myself left to my own thoughts. It seemed like everyone else knew each other, jabbering away in their own little social circles.

"Did you hear about Elizabeth? They just moved!" "Oh, I hadn't seen her since the end of the summer." "Isn't it great what happened to Kaylee?" "Oh yes, what a great opportunity!"

They might as well been speaking in Greek. They obviously were good friends catching up on the latest gossip and news. *whoosh* (Way over my head).

When will I ever find a group of people I feel comfortable around? One in which I can be myself without having to feel like at any minute I'm about to break some time-honored social nicety and forever be cast out. I just can't quite to find people I can be comfortable around. People who share common interests as myself.

It's not to say it wasn't fun tonight - I had fun, just felt a bit uncomfortable is all. Nothing new there.

Halloween tomorrow night - we told Ariel that this is her last year of trick or treating as I am developing a greater and greater dislike for that particular tradition. I enjoyed it as a kid, but as an adult, I feel like it's a bunch of kids going to strangers' houses begging for candy.

And then it's a relentless, "can I have <insert various candy here>" hour after hour until the 235 lbs of candy is depleted. Not to mention having kids on sugar overload during the same time. It's enough to drive parents crazy. I remember throwing out the remaining 3 lbs of Halloween candy last year in a fit of anger. Since we aren't completely heartless & cruel parents, we did tell Ariel that instead of trick or treating next year, she can still have a Halloween party or something. Something *other* than going out and begging for candy.

We may not celebrate Halloween in the traditional fashion next year, but we aren't going to celebrate Christmas in September to avoid the commercialism either. At least not yet. ;)