Everyone has certain memories from the past that somehow seem to stay with them no matter what. Here are a couple of mine that come to mind for your reading pleasure.

Slightly Embarrassing (and potentially stupid) Moment #15514

Back when Scott & I were in high school, like any selfish, greedy high school kid, we spent the winter months selling our bodies for…I mean, politely asking people in the neighborhood if they wanted us to shovel their sidewalks and driveways after a snowstorm (for a fee of course). You really think we did it out of the goodness of our hearts? Get real. In fact, we even called ourselves Laserarm Snow Shoveling Service (named after some of our role-playing characters). Yes, we were geeks back then too.

One winter, we had gotten several consecutive snowfalls a few days apart. This basically resulted in layers of snow and ice as the snow melted & refroze overnight, only to be covered by another layer of snow. Business was good that week.

Wearing these big rubber boots that belonged to my dad (which were actually a couple of sizes too big), we set off in search of more monetary gain. At one house in particular, located just down the street within eyeshot of Scott's house, this elderly lady answered the door and said she would be interested in our services. In addition to shoveling her walk & driveway, she asked us if we could shovel her roof. Scott and I looked at each other, "was she serious?" I mean, what kind of fools did she take us for, even if it was an apt assessment? She assured us she would pay us generously for our efforts.

"How generous!!" I remember thinking as trips to the emergency room danced through my thoughts. I also wondered if she was going to make us sign a waiver.

We came to find out that her den was a ground floor addition to the house, and it had a flat roof which could be reached by exiting through a door on her 2nd floor. She was getting worried that the accumulation of snow and ice on the roof of her cozy den would cause it to cave in. Finding out that we didn't have to climb and shovel on a pitched roof eased our apprehension. We gladly took the job and walked out onto the roof to assess the situation.

Let's see, there was about 2 ½ feet of snow on the roof. There was about 2 feet of snow on the ground. The roof was only about 10 feet from the ground. Stupid, adolescent thoughts began to form in our irrational minds. At about the same time, we looked at each other asked, "are you thinking what I'm thinking?" We basically decided that we could shovel the snow from the roof into a big pile on the ground, and then jump off the roof into the pile of snow. We figured we could get a pile of snow about 5 feet high - therefore jumping off the roof would only be a 5' drop.

We set our plan into action by shoveling earnestly. All the snow from the roof went into one pile. It was a bit of extra work having to move shovel loads from the far ends of the roof, but worth it in our opinion. Within a short time, the moment was at hand. The time when we would leave boyhood behind and become "real" men. Ok, I admit, real stupid men.

Suddenly, neither of us were so sure. All the bravado and boasting and arrogance went out the window, I mean, went off the roof. I turned to Scott, "aren't you going to go?"

"You first", he replied.

"No way, I'm not going until you go first."

"After you, my friend."

This went on for a few minutes until he said, "ok, fine. I'll go."

Without missing a beat, he ran to the side of the roof and jumped…

<Phloof>

He sunk up to his hips in the snow. "Yes!! That was awesome!!" he exclaimed excitedly.

Oh boy. Now I was in trouble. Now I had to follow up with my assertion that I would jump too.

I walked to the edge of the roof.

Suddenly the five feet that separated me from the ground seemed a lot more like twenty feet. Scott had already climbed out of the pile and was standing off to the side. "Come on man, jump!! It's awesome!!" he beckoned.

Gritting my teeth and steeling my resolve, or is it steeling my teeth and gritting my resolve? I took a deep breath and jumped…

Remember those big rubber boots that were two sizes too big?

Somehow, the boots caught on the gutter as I jumped and I tumbled headfirst off of the roof, arms flailing and probably the look of shock and horror on my face.

Next thing I know, I'm buried up to my hips in the snow.

Only that it's my head and chest that are buried, and my legs sticking straight up out of the pile of snow.

I hear Scott's muffled laugh through the snow all around me. He's absolutely dying.

Can you picture it? A kid buried in the snow, with only his feet showing, kicking around wildly.

As I was completely buried and had no leverage, I couldn't move any part of my body except my legs, so I had no way of getting myself out of that predicament without outside assistance.

Wanting to get out of there before someone saw me, I yelled out to Scott to pull me out. I was rewarded with a mouthful of snow and more laughing. "Get me out before anyone sees me!" I yelled again. I could just picture his parents taking a walk and seeing me in that slightly embarassing position.

I think Scott waited for another minute or so before he finally pulled me out. What a friend. He had tears in his eyes when I finally got a good look at him. Somehow I suspect it wasn't from feeling any sense of sadness for me.

Determined to do it right, we ran back inside and up the stairs to the roof again. The lady who lived there seemed quite shocked as we ran in through her front door. "How did you get down…" she droned out as we raced up the stairs. The second attempt went much better than the first; however since the snow was more tightly packed by now, I ended up jabbing my knee into my chin as I landed. Ouch.

Counting my blessings that I wasn't paralyzed from the waist down, we decided to call it quits and to consider ourselves lucky that we escaped without any major injuries. It took a while before I nursed my wounded pride and bruised chin back to a healthy state.

Most Embarassing Thing to happen to me EVAR

Some background: one of my good qualities is that I respect women very highly and treat them with the utmost dignity and courteousness. You'll never find me making lewd or suggestive comments. All my life I've tried to treat the opposite gender as a chivalrous knight would, which is what makes this possibly the funniest and most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.

While I was in college, there was this girl that I liked a lot, but seeing how she had a boyfriend, I was content just to be her friend. In fact, we hung out a lot, but only as friends. When I returned to my apartment after spending an evening with her, one of my friends (who was hanging out with my roommates at the time) started joshing with me, "hey Cliff, didja get 'some'? Didjadidjadidja??" Despite all my protests that we were just friends and nothing went on, he persisted for several minutes until I finally went to my room and closed the door. This ridicule happened a few more times over the next couple of months whenever I did something with my 'girl' friend.

Then one evening, my friend (the one who had been giving me a hard time all along) came to our apartment after a date with a girl he was seeing. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to return the favor. My two roommates were there with me as my friend walked into our apartment. As soon as the door opened and he set foot in our apartment, I said in a loud voice, "hey J, did you get 'some'? Huh? Did you get 'some'? Did you get 'some'? Did you get 'some'?" Now if you know me, this is completely out of character for me.

As soon as I started in on him, he developed this worried look on his face. I should have known something was up. But it was too late.

Not more than two seconds later, who other than his date walks into the apartment directly behind my friend.

I just about died. I felt sooooo embarassed. There was no way she could have not heard what I said. I felt like crawling into the biggest hole I could find and never coming out. I panicked and instead of apologizing or anything, I just looked around crazily for some refuge and bolted for my room. I stayed in my room the entire rest of the night and didn't show my face at all.

Later on, my friends told me that I had turned about as red as a tomato and it was actually quite funny to see my reaction. I still to this day don't know if she heard what I had said, or if she thought anything of it. All I know is that I died about a thousand deaths that evening.

The kicker of the whole situation is that the girl my friend was dating is now his wife. I guess I should've asked him after he got married if he got 'some'.